Dec 30th, 2010

I thought this looked like "praying hands."

Merry Christmas Shiprock

Ok, here's the scoop, friends. I met a boy, enjoyed every moment, and then it was over. I was totally and unceremoniously dumped Christmas eve morning! Since this was my first involvement since my split with Don, the break makes it especially worse. It basically hurts like hell . . . mostly because I didn't see it coming . . . I was blind to the many red flags. He was like everything on my "list" that I wanted . . . which made it harder to see the red flags. But, I offer a quote from Oprah . . . which I wish I had followed: "When someone tells you who they are, listen." Apparently, I was too enthralled in the moment to listen. Oh, well. Lesson learned.

So, yesterday, Christmas eve day, in my misery, I called someone to commiserate with me: Don, my ex-husband! Talk about the ex-husband of the year award . . . he deserves another one! The best advice that he gave me . . . and it's been getting me through . . . is that, "Now, you're back in the game again." That is so true. It's been three years since I left him, and NO men in my life! Now, I AM back in the game again. Thanks for your wisdom, Don!

Honestly, having it come down like this is a writer's greatest dream. Being dumped on Christmas eve? It's awesome, really. I wrote down every one of my thoughts and feelings . . . still am. And now, some time in the future when one of my characters gets dumped, I will know EXACTLY how she feels. It really doesn't get much better than this!

This morning, Christmas Day, while eating my breakfast, I looked up to a poster that I had on the wall. I had bought it at the Navajo Fair during the summer, and the poster is of Shiprock . . . one of my all time favorite places. It suddenly occurred to me that it would be a good idea to . . . go there! So, I packed up Moki in the car, and off we went.

About an hour later, I found the old farm road that I had discovered once before. It didn't have a no-trespassing sign or anything, so I drove over the cattle guard, and slowly kept going. I have all wheel drive and this road was more four wheel drive. I got as far as I could . . . probably farther than I "should," and then had to stop. Shiprock was in the distance, but still not close. I decided I would see how close I could get to it, walking. So, off we went.

The closer I got, the more excited I got. I could feel it, I could breathe it . . . and it was getting closer and closer with every step that I took. After walking what I took to be a mile, I was a lot closer, but still not what you would call close. So, I decided that I would walk another mile and see where that got me. It got me close. Not close enough to sit at its base, but pretty durn close. Someone had told me that there was a fence around it . . . but, there was no fence. It was awesome, looming up before me like some magical kingdom.

I could have gotten closer, but I knew I still had two miles to walk back. So, I stopped at a place where the road was on a little rise, moved off the road into the damp sand, and lay down. All the time I was walking, I was taking pictures, and once on the ground, I took more. Then, I lay back and meditated. This is a very sacred place. I could feel it. I felt it the very first time I saw Shiprock, about two years ago. I asked it to heal my pain. I meditated for a long time with my eyes closed, and then I thought maybe I should open them. My field of vision from my position on the ground, allowed me to see just the top tip of Shiprock. So, I kept looking. And then an amazingly magical thing happened. I saw stars. Have you ever fainted and seen stars? It's a very peculiar thing. But, I wasn't fainting, I felt fine. But, there they were, moving around like little fireflies. I watched in amazement for several minutes, and then moved my glasses thinking it might have something to do with them. No change. The stars still there moving around. Then, I closed my eyes wondering if that would make them go away. When I opened them, they were still there. The chill wind was blowing too hard for them to be particulates in the air. It was just magic. Just plain magic. Fairy dust or something, and I lay there a long time watching the golden stars. I felt blessed.

Then, it was time to leave. It was a long, chilly walk back to the car. After quite awhile of walking, I thought I spied a white speck and thought it was the car. But, when we got closer, it turned out to be a plastic bag! I had used a reiki protection symbol on the car before I left it, but I thought I had forgotten to lock it. Plus, I thought I was on private land, possibly illegally, and there was a chance that if someone came across my car, it could get towed away! I was on the "res" - - the Navajo reservation. Anyway, after a few more rises in the road, several more minutes, and a tired girl later, the real car finally appeared. It was bigger than a speck, but still pretty far away. We finally got there safe and sound, albeit very tired and thirsty.

So, we left the magic of Shiprock behind us, and headed for home. What a magical day this was! What a great decision to go out there today! It was exactly what I needed. And the magical, golden stars that happened to me while I was there . . . what a gift that was!