The Way That it Works . . .

I wrote this I don't know how long ago and somehow forgot about it.  Sorry about this.  Well, here goes.  I'm pushing the Post button.

So I was really ticked off.  You know how much I love games.  I've told you how much I love games . . . especially "euro" games . . . the games originating in Europe . . . the really complicated ones.  I'm addicted, I tell you, addicted!  So that's why I was ticked off.

The group that I'm in plays games at several different places.  Once every two weeks, we play at the library.  Once every two weeks we play in the clubhouse of a housing development.  Every other Wednesday, and every Friday we play at a game store.  Fridays alternate between the store in Prescott Valley and the one in Prescott.

It started at the Prescott Valley store.  They began spraying "air freshener."  Lots of it.  Trying not to get myself in trouble here, I will say that there has been research to suggest that those can cause cancer . . . they're carcinogenic.  Whether they are or aren't, I am sensitive to that.  Some of you may remember how sensitive I was to perfume back in the day.  So, I started by asking the management to turn them off when I was in the store.  That kind of worked, but he always had something else to do first, and so there were one or two or more "squirts" of the poison in the air before he got around to it.  So I asked if I could bring them to him, which kind of worked for a while.  What happened is that I would bring them to him, but he wouldn't turn them off right away, which was just as bad.  Ultimately, there was one or two that I couldn't find or that didn't get turned off.  In a fit of anger, I put on a white over-thing and a mask so that I could finish the game I was in.  If I didn't do that, I would go home literally covered with that horrible scent all over my clothes.  I haven't returned to that store since.

But I could still go to the other store.  They only had two "sprayers" and I would bring the one in the back room up front as soon as I entered the store.  That had been working.  But either my sensitivities have gotten worse because of all the exposure at the other place, or they cranked up the one they had left . . . whatever it was, I got a reaction even in the back room.  So I couldn't return there anymore, either.

What made me sad was that although most of the people in the group knew of my issues, only one person stood up for me.  Had they all stood up for me, the management may have been persuaded not to use the dang things on the nights we were there.  So . . . it saddens me that the people I have been playing games with for more than a year, wouldn't step up.  But . . . they're mostly guys . . . and . . . it's something that most people won't do . . . unless it affects them directly.

It reminds me of a quote I heard about Nazi Germany . . . and I don't remember who said it, and I'm kind of paraphrasing it.  But it goes something like this:
When they came for the Jews, I didn't say anything because I wasn't Jewish.
When they came for the gypsys, I didn't say anything because I wasn't a gypsy.
When they came for the homosexuals, I didn't say anything because I wasn't homosexual.
When they came for the Catholics, I didn't say anything because I wasn't Catholic.
And when they came for me, there was no one left to say anything.

There's one more thing that I forgot until just now.  I mentioned that the people in the group didn't stand up for me.  Well, I should say something about the people in this group . . . they are the worst eaters I've ever seen . . . almost every single one of them to the person either has a soda every game night or candy or cookies or all of the above.  The "healthiest" one of them drinks coke in a bottle because it has real sugar instead of high fructose corn syrup.  That is a good thing.  But it's far from healthy.  So when I was complaining about the air freshener, one of them said, "I have one of those in my bedroom."  When I heard that, it was like everything came together for me.  No wonder they're not standing up for me.  They see nothing wrong with the air freshener spray.  They think it's okay.  It's just like when they laugh at me when I tell them not to keep their cell phone by their heat.  So . . . I guess they're laughing at the air freshener problem, too.  Oh, well.

Whatever.  So . . . now the good news!  At first I was furious and disappointed, and I couldn't stop thinking about it.  Then I realized something . . .

Now I'll take you back a couple weeks from this incident.  It was a second date . . . I liked this guy.  Unfortunately it didn't work out because of reasons beyond my control, but the date was important because I got this from it.  He was talking about some drama that a previous girlfriend had been involved in.  I said something negative about drama (because I don't like it).  So he asked what is drama.  My answer is what came back to me when I was so furious . . . drama is anything that takes you out of the moment.  Because THE MOMENT is where your life is.  THE MOMENT is where your power is.  Thinking about how angry and disappointed I felt was making me miserable.  But at that moment, I was cooking dinner . . . that didn't make me angry.  I was sitting at the computer looking out at the horses . . . that didn't make me angry.  If I kept myself IN THE MOMENT, it turned out I wasn't angry or furious.  Dinner was good, and I absolutely love looking out my window at the horses. Once I brought myself BACK TO THE MOMENT, life was good.  The anger and disappointment drifted away, and I moved on.

That's the good part.  Moving on, I mean.  Once I opened that space in my life that had been filled with games, other areas of my life opened up.  I had joined this women's group that met in the afternoon a couple times a month.  Now they were starting to have side get-togethers . . . and . . . because I was free of the games on those nights, I could go!  How cool is that!?!  And I finally emailed the square dancing group in town . . . remember how much I love square dancing? . . . and they are now having lessons . . . and since it's been a couple years since I've danced, I need a little refresher . . . it's perfect!  And I LOVE square dancing.  If I hadn't been willing to let the games go . . . peacefully . . . these things might not have opened up for me.

And that's when I realized . . .  That's the way it works . . .