She's . . . baaaaack!
It was very cold outside . . . my car thermometer said fourteen degrees, but everyone said that when they drove by the banks in town, their thermometers said six or eight degrees! I chose to believe fourteen . . . it made me feel warmer!
I had multiple layers on, and once we began walking and talking, I really didn't feel too cold at all. It was about a four or five mile walk, and on the way back, I was almost getting warm. I didn't take off any layers, though!
After the walk, most of us on the walk met for lunch, which was very nice. And then, after lunch I had a bunch of errands to do. And, as I was doing them, I was feeling so incredibly good and had this huge grin on my face . . . I realized that . . . I'm baaaack!
You know the whole deal with a glass half full person or a glass half empty person? Well, I consider myself a glass half full person, but the real truth is that most of the time my glass is totally running over with joy.
Finally, I'm back there. I'm not saying I'm over "Phil" . . . I'm not saying I'm "cured," but I'm a whole lot closer than I've been these last two weeks. And I'm feeling great. And I'm ready to move on. And I have absolute knowingness in my heart that the right man is on his way . . . the man who is absolutely perfect for me . . . and no red flags involved!
I'm not going to blame Phil for breaking my heart. I gave my heart freely. And it was my choice to ignore said red flags. If he was deceptive at all . . . it was only in a vague way . . . and in a way that I certainly should have recognized. This heartbreak was totally my doing, and I take full responsibility for it.
Here's a quote . . . I think by Robert Anthony: When you blame others, you give up your power to change.
The change I intend to make is not to have blinders on, and to acknowledge and be aware of any red flags that come my way. That's all.
Here's something interesting that should have been a red flag for me . . . Most of you know that I totally and completely believe in reincarnation. We're here on earth - - in a physical existence - - to learn lessons. With each successive lifetime we live, we learn more lessons and hopefully get closer to oneness with God/Goddess/All There Is. So, when I met Don, (former husband), I asked him what periods of history he was drawn to. This is my test to see if I've shared former lives with anyone. He and I had many . . . seven or eight if I remember correctly. When I asked Phil . . . we had NOT ONE shared period of history! That doesn't necessarily mean we didn't have any . . . but, it definitely should have been a red flag for me!
Back to my day in Durango:
After I finished my errands, I had one more thing to do. An appointment. I had to call to make the appointment a day before . . . yesterday. My appointment was at 2:00. At the local jail.
My good friend, Ken, is in jail for three months for drunk driving. He actually stopped drinking over a year ago, but the court system being what it is . . . he is only now going to jail. So, they told me on the phone that the only thing I can have on me is my keys and my driver's license . . . which I needed to even get in there to see him.
After I parked, I took everything out of my pockets . . . including doggy poop bags (empty of course!), loaded it into my coat, and left my coat in the car. Having never been to jail before . . . on either side of the bars . . . I had no idea what to expect. I was only following directions. I wondered if we would be in the same room (reason to not have anything in my pockets?) or behind one of those window things where you pick up the phone and talk, but the person is right in front of you, or . . . ? I had absolutely no idea.
I forgot my drivers license and had to go back to the car, and then went to the wrong building, and by the time I got there, it was about seven minutes before 2:00. I was supposed to be there ten minutes early. Bureaucracy being what it is . . . I didn't know if they would allow me to continue or not.
I walk into the building and have to use one of those phone to get someone. The person that answers was behind glass, and they had one of those drawer things like at a bank. I had to put my driver's license in the drawer. He took at it, looked at it, and walked away. My guess is that he made a copy of it. He came back a few minutes later and told me to go to station six.
I walked into the next room and found station six. It was a narrow cubicle with a chair, and a video screen with a camera above it, and a telephone. A few minutes later, Ken came on the screen - - in a black and white jail suit! We both picked up our respective telephones.
He was surprised to see me. They hadn't told him I was coming to see him . . . until they went to get him to talk to me. He'd only been in since January 1st, but I told him that I came so soon because I thought it might have been a more difficult transition than he expected. But, good ole Ken has a great attitude. He said he's spent a lot of time thinking . . . planning for the future . . . he has meditated, exercised, and mostly kept busy. I don't think he said one negative thing about being in jail. We talked a lot about horses, and laughed a lot. There were a couple other people in the room with me . . . talking on other stations . . . and I don't think there was much laughter going on. The jailers probably listened to every word we said because it must have been pretty unusual for them, too. Anyway, it was a nice conversation and at thirty minutes, the screen goes blank. I'll probably go back to see him in a couple weeks.
One interesting thing about Ken . . . I had talked to him a couple weeks ago and told him that I had met someone. Then, I told him about AA . . . alcoholics anonymous. Phil is/was an alcoholic . . . dry ten years . . . and swore by AA. So, since Ken had gotten two drunk driving arrests, I thought I'd share what Phil had told me about AA. Ken completely disregarded it. He told me that he thought that a lot of alcoholics trade alcohol for AA . . . just another addiction . . . a light came on . . . it should have been a red light . . . or red flag . . . Phil goes to AA meetings five or six times a week! It was EXACTLY like Ken said. Anyway, that is interesting in retrospect!!
And the really good news of the day is that my book, Unicorn Whisperer, is now available on Kindle . . . that electronic book reading device! I'm totally jazzed about that!! Wow!
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